All Done. What's Next?

Honestly? I don't know. Got a couple of ideas. Half-baked.

But for now I'll just let the 366 haikus marinate.

Maybe I'll organize them by categories. Bad. Really Bad. Threw Up.

Maybe I'll find out if haikus is a real word.

But keep checking back. All three of you. I'll come up with something.

Maybe.

December 31, 2008

Counted them again.
Three hundred and sixty-six.
Back to you, Japan.

December 30, 2008

This is next to last.
Penultimate I am told.
Easy to forget.

December 29, 2008

Don't like strong flavors.
Don't like to be overwhelmed.
A hint works just fine.

December 28, 2008

There should be a law:
Resealable bags must be
Easy to reseal.

December 27, 2008

I can’t afford to
Be unable to afford
What I can’t afford.

December 26, 2008

If I could write words
That would make your life better,
I’d know what they were.

December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas, world.
Peace and love and happiness
In an extra large.

December 24, 2008

Feeling really bad.
Can't beat Lipper Average
Whatever it is.

December 23, 2008

The bill of your cap
Can serve as a curb-feeler
For you and your head.

December 22, 2008

Says to take the drug
With a full glass of water.
Think they'd be more clear.

December 21, 2008

Italian cooking:
Throw anything in skillet
With some olive oil.

December 20, 2008

Login? Or logon?
Cannot take the flip-flopping.
Logging out. Or off.

December 19, 2008

She would not tell him
What was truly on her mind
Unless she was mad.

December 18, 2008

Under mistletoe.
Not one woman has kissed me.
Must be defective.

December 17, 2008

Chicken noodle soup.
Associate with sickness.
Cannot eat it well.

December 16, 2008

Her walk was a cross
Between farmer and model.
Hitched giddy-up stroll.

December 15, 2008

Workplace tip to heed:
Don't work for the insecure.
They'll sit in your chair.

December 14, 2008

Nothing to see here.
And for more discouragement,
Nothing to hear. See?

December 13, 2008

Ya'll all line up now
According to the org chart.
Don't nobody move.

December 12, 2008

Here's what made my day:
Pumpkinhead with dearth of clues
Told me what to do.

December 11, 2008

Higher-ups don't know
Deference and respect are
Not always the same.

December 10, 2008

Not easy to work
Smarter instead of longer.
Got more time than brains.

December 9, 2008

Ahh the Christmas joy.
Sewn-on-Santa-face towels.
I can't dry my hands.

December 8, 2008

Yardwork rule of thumb:
Bags of mulch you have on hand
One less than you need.

December 7, 2008

It's Pearl Harbor Day.
I'm getting back at Japan
By botching haiku.

December 6, 2008

Rarely catch a rat
With a trap built for a mouse.
Same with rodents, too.

December 5, 2008

Got self-confidence?
First make sure it's genuine.
Then make sure it's shown.

December 4, 2008

Treasure the moments
You can spend all by yourself
If you get along.

December 3, 2008

Old people drive slow.
Fed up with moving out of
Other people's way.

December 2, 2008

Of names that don't work
The Quasi Care Nursing Home
Might just top the list.

December 1, 2008

Yell out anything
That comes to mind in jungle
That lion won't hear.

November 30, 2008

Know how to do it.
Know why it needs to be done.
Do it best you can.

November 29, 2008

Could not find water.
Ranch hands said that he was not
Well educated.

November 28, 2008

Love can be buried.
Just because you don't see it
Do not feel it's gone.

November 27, 2008

Keep them all happy.
Fine goal for a party host.
But not for a judge.

November 26, 2008

Three-year-old asked me,
"And what is your name again?"
"Granddad," I told him.

November 25, 2008

Spilled coffee on bills
On the kitchen countertop.
I was mad at first.

November 24, 2008

So where were you when
John F. Kennedy was shot?
Some: Did not do it.

November 23, 2008

My team was slaughtered.
Gutted, field-dressed, then drawn and
Quartered by quarter.

November 22, 2008

Toddler at airport
Drinking a Starbucks without
Tommee Tippee cup.

November 21, 2008

Should not have to ask.
Any bowl's a mixing bowl
In another's house.

November 20, 2008

Fit fat fighters say:
Elevators are for use
When the stairs don't work.

November 19, 2008

I ran, ran and ran
Till I could not run no more.
Means I'm running still.

November 18, 2008

Could be sign of times.
Reads "Does advertising work?"
Now see lots of them.

November 17, 2008

Stature's not just height.
Don’t worry if you are short
Long as feet reach ground.

November 16, 2008

When a decision
Appears to lack sound basis,
Follow the money.

November 15, 2008

Now we all move on.
Dispersing to the four winds.
Memories won't blow.

November 14, 2008

He was a good man.
If he's not in heaven now,
Then there isn't one.

November 13, 2008

Could be a lesson:
He chased almighty dollar.
Now lost in Beijing.

November 12, 2008

Have a boring job.
Count stars for the government.
Has its bright spots though.

November 11, 2008

My dad died last night.
Did not know about haiku.
Passed it on to me.

November 10, 2008

Never understood
Why word to wise sufficient.
Should be word from wise.

November 9, 2008

Try to see the wrong
In doing something stupid
To please powerful.

November 8, 2008

Getting jump on day.
Showered and now must decide
Which towel is mine.

November 7, 2008

I learned a new word.
New word is obsequious.
Most who are don't care.

November 6, 2008

Told I'm past my prime.
Told them they were wrong because
I've not had a prime.

November 5, 2008

Election question:
Is historic preceded
By a or by an?

November 4, 2008

Election Day's here.
Time that the undecideds
Decide or stay home.

November 3, 2008

Desperation Day.
Make up something that just might
Resonate with fools.

November 2, 2008

What, you don't trust me?
Or do, but don't won't others
To know that you did?

November 1, 2008

Bee in my bonnet
Leaves me obsessed and asking
Why I wear bonnet.

October 31, 2008

Trick-or-treaters come.
Smaller ones say twick uh tweat.
And maybe wed ones.

October 30, 2008

Happy birthdays note:
Grandson Teddy born today,
On uncle's birthday.

October 29, 2008

Some things we do right
Must be redone regardless.
Breathing comes to mind.

October 28, 2008

Every day should be
National Late to Work Day
In honor of me.

October 27, 2008

Found some roller skates.
Now searching the area
For buffalo herd.

October 26, 2008

Get you some standards.
Otherwise you'll have nothing
To base judgments on.

October 25, 2008

May not be good day.
Underwear caught in zipper.
May need Jaws of Life.

October 24, 2008

Can’t fly in buses.
In travel as in language,
Nouns and verbs must match.

October 23, 2008

He lied through his teeth.
Then he lied through his dentures.
Now he's lying still.

October 22, 2008

Going somewhere fast.
Guess they enjoy the rushing.
Should enjoy the trip.

October 21, 2008

Took it as a threat:
So how would you like to be
Face deep in the ground?

October 20, 2008

Knew not when to kid.
He even teased those crying
At a funeral.

October 19, 2008

Dear talk show callers:
Just because you can dial
Does not mean you're smart.

October 18, 2008

Can you send to me
One more way to be stupid?
No rush. Got lots left.

October 17, 2008

Made "Realtors" tags.
Sticking them to bottom of
McCain-Palin signs.

October 16, 2008

So much easier
To fight with those you don't love.
Not as much at stake.

October 15, 2008

Go with who you are.
If you really are not much,
Go with who you are.

October 14, 2008

A silent auction.
Put in bid for 10 minutes
Of peace and quiet.

October 13, 2008

Missed Columbus Day.
Said to have discovered us
Though we were not here.

October 12, 2008

Watch for fat in words.
Could destroy your diet plan
If you're forced to eat.

October 11, 2008

Yes, she is pretty.
But beauty's only skin deep.
Mean goes clean to bone.

October 10, 2008

Plus for killing ants:
Could save them from torture of
Performance review.

October 9, 2008

Democrats have knack.
They blow it pre-election.
Republicans post-.

October 8, 2008

Another debate.
My candidate was superb.
Assume yours was too.

October 7, 2008

Paid all of my bills.
I may not do that again.
Found it too draining.

October 6, 2008

Freedom’s not freedom
If after I speak my mind,
They mind that I spoke.

October 5, 2008

Somewhat amusing:
Far right wants government help
When disaster strikes.

October 4, 2008

When we tell our kids,
“Now, do not start in with me”,
Should we say with whom?

October 3, 2008

Some will vote this way.
Her panty lines were showing.
Joe Biden's were not.

October 2, 2008

Think horse, not zebra.
If newspaper does not come,
Don't conclude no news.

October 1, 2008

Sick of people whose
Sole basis for decision
Is they can make one.

September 30, 2008

Let her speak her mind.
Need to find out who she is.
Not who handlers are.

September 29, 2008

Cannot keep it straight.
Youthfulness or usefulness.
Which have I outlived?

September 28, 2008

It’s “Larry King Live”.
Could be called just “Larry King”.
Except for the doubt.

September 27, 2008

First debate now done.
Now we ask: Who won? Who Lost?
And who got brained out?

September 26, 2008

He married a saint.
She deserved better than him.
Better, she just left.

September 25, 2008

Always last to know.
How do I know I’m the last?
I don’t pass it on.

September 24, 2008

Sometimes I care less.
Sometimes I could not care more.
Sometimes not at all.

September 23, 2008

Saw slogan on truck.
Said “This way to common sense.”
I’m in hot pursuit.

September 22, 2008

A mean man got sick.
Was meaner when he got well.
Went from bed to worse.

September 21, 2008

Shameless promotion:
For indigestion and ilk,
Hot peppermint tea.

September 20, 2008

Who is Bill Kurtis?
He just found the Internet.
Googled to find him.

September 19, 2008

If she’s elected,
Nation will be ready if
Polar bears attack.

September 18, 2008

Sadly I must say
Not all created Equal.
But somebody did.

September 17, 2008

White bread and water.
For variety they had
Water and white bread.

September 16, 2008

Have sign in my car.
Contains a phone number and
Reads “Blinkers Repaired”.

September 15, 2008

Stuttered as a child.
Still stutters as an adult.
Just not verbally.

September 14, 2008

Monies and upon.
Two words we should never use.
Except to say this.

September 13, 2008

Please send paper bags
To TV reporters who
Hyperventilate.

September 12, 2008

Each door that closes
Is sign to keep looking for
Jerk who's shutting them.

September 11, 2008

Women, you decide.
If picked because she’s woman,
Was it sex offense?

September 10, 2008

Can't we say she's sick?
After all, are not we all
Under the weather?

September 9, 2008

I know my secret’s
Safe with you, but I worry
About those you’ve told.

September 8, 2008

If your milk is spilt,
Move to one side or other
If you think you’ll cry.

September 7, 2008

I have an illness.
Did not have a name till now.
Skepticynosis.

September 6, 2008

Field-dressing a moose.
Some claim she’s real good at it.
Moose not one of them.

September 5, 2008

There should be a law:
Those talking on cells near me
Must use speaker mode.

September 4, 2008

She’s his VP choice.
Some may guess it is because
Den mother said no.

September 3, 2008

My call placed in queue.
No way to know if answered
In order received.

September 2, 2008

Bothers me somewhat:
In-val-id and in-va-lid
Are spelled the same way.

September 1, 2008

Is it a true gift
If you send avid golfer
Box of green golf balls?

August 31, 2008

Freedom is not just
For those with whom we agree.
Freedom is for all.

August 30, 2008

If you find someone
With whom you always agree,
One or both are clones.

August 29, 2008

Don’t know which is worse.
Hatred born of ignorance
Or of unsaid source.

August 28, 2008

The birds will still sing
No matter who’s elected.
Question is what song.

August 27, 2008

Shameless promotion:
For coverage sans pundits,
Tune set to C-SPAN.

August 26, 2008

Now seems clear to me.
Must vote for heart, hopes and dreams
Over smug disdain.

August 25, 2008

Omaha is said
In response to pain one feels
When ones ha is hurt.

August 24, 2008

Forty years today.
Forty years of what, you say.
Please don’t ask my wife.

August 23, 2008

Beware the two-faced.
Always know that what is said
Has an opposite.

August 22, 2008

This about the job:
Speaking-out propensity
Tied to bank account.

August 21, 2008

May come as a shock:
Life won't be replayed later
In entirety.

August 20, 2008

Oh, sportscaster man.
Don't say he's second all-time
And not say who's first.

August 19, 2008

My campaign slogan.
Perhaps I should change it from:
Don't expect too much.

August 18, 2008

Harder way to write:
Hold pen still against the page
And move the paper.

August 17, 2008

May not like dog’s name.
But do not take that to mean
I don’t like the dog.

August 16, 2008

Garage sales today.
Hope I’m lucky and can buy
One each for my cars.

August 15, 2008

Seeing it coming
Is skill of little value
If you do not duck.

August 14, 2008

Upset a priest with:
It has been five minutes since
My last confession.

August 13, 2008

Expensive makeup
Can hide whole lot of ugly.
But ugly is free.

August 12, 2008

Pains me to admit
I’m completely out of touch.
But plan to buy more.

August 11, 2008

They built 20 dams.
Three of them decayed and broke.
Known as rotter dams.

August 10, 2008

Through burglar-barred panes
I watched the sun rise above
My privacy fence.

August 9, 2008

Fruitless endeavor:
Searching vegetation for
Raisin tree or vine.

August 8, 2008

Could be bad-day sign:
When you visit the gardens
And flowers are mad.

August 7, 2008

From fair wages file:
If they pretend to pay me,
I’ll pretend to work.

August 6, 2008

The wolf chased a dog.
The dog then chased a rabbit.
The rabbit just ran.

August 5, 2008

Asked a pregnant friend,
“Do you want a boy or girl?”
“Yes,” she said to me.

August 4, 2008

In upside down world
We’d seek shade under tree roots
And swim in the air.

August 3, 2008

Let me ask you this:
If you're told to search your soul,
How long would it take?

August 2, 2008

Milk of Magnesia.
Don’t know if it’s real milk or
Where Magnesia is.

August 1, 2008

Telemarketers.
Good thing it’s not possible
To shoot them on sound.

July 31, 2008

Meds-induced stupor.
Some say it is better than
No stupor at all.

July 30, 2008

Sticks and stones can still
Break my bones and cause me pain.
Let’s not downplay that.

July 29, 2008

Sign says we ID
Those 26 or under.
Tell me how they know.

July 28, 2008

If you do not know,
Do not pretend that you do.
Life’s not acting class.

July 27, 2008

Say things to others
That I do not like said to me.
I’m okay with that.

July 26, 2008

I would write a book.
But don’t know what to say and
Don’t have street address.

July 25, 2008

Put in parking lot
Means let’s discuss it later.
What’s wrong with latter?

July 24, 2008

Playing catch-up.
So stressful and deflating.
New goal: run behind.

July 23, 2008

This is pathetic.
In my dreams I always dream
That I am dreaming.

July 22, 2008

Critical thinking.
Am told it’s almost extinct.
Hope you understand.

July 21, 2008

Stairway to the stars
Was not tall enough to reach.
Short by four light years.

July 20, 2008

Not your horse to ride.
Let the one whose horse it is
Be responsible.

July 19, 2008

If a bear and pig
Fight it out in your backyard,
Run or root for pig.

July 18, 2008

Stitch in time saves nine.
Never have I known for sure
Nine of what is saved.

July 17, 2008

If oft said at work:
No way to run a railroad,
Time to jump from train.

July 16, 2008

Don’t wake up to fail.
But lots of what I do just
Seems to qualify.

July 15, 2008

Freeway traffic’s stopped.
Cars passing us on shoulder.
Shoot or ticket them.

July 14, 2008

Game of cat and mouse.
Do not know what games they know.
Maybe purrcheesi.

July 13, 2008

Time does not make noise.
It passes on in silence.
Like some people should.

July 12, 2008

Better off today
Than we were eight years ago
In no many ways.

July 11, 2008

One dumb thing I did:
For personal reference,
Listed Occupant.

July 10, 2008

The sign said no trash.
Maybe that was the reason
No one was around.

July 9, 2008

I’m losing patience.
People are making me mad.
Have they lost my mind?

July 8, 2008

Note to those in jobs:
If don’t know what you’re doing,
Don’t do anything.

July 7, 2008

Told haikus should be
All about everyday stuff.
Written sleeping pills.

July 6, 2008

Worst of all reasons
For demanding an action:
Just because you can.

July 5, 2008

Fireworks woke me up.
Francis Scott Key called to ask
What a rampart is.

July 4, 2008

Happy July 4.
Independence from Britain
And sometimes ourselves.

July 3, 2008

Beware those who claim
To be fully transparent,
Using talking points.

July 2, 2008

Cardiac expert
Surely has to know more than
Heart is in right place.

July 1, 2008

Today’s halfway mark
In quest for three sixty-six.
Maybe it’s just math.

June 30, 2008

Thanked God for the hit.
Praised Him for the long home run.
"Now let’s discuss me."

June 29, 2008

Told a river flows
Slowly to the sea but then
Comes back in the sky.

June 28, 2008

Sign said watch for cars.
Seemed like a good trade to me.
Guess for Cadillac.

June 27, 2008

How am I, they ask.
Shouldn’t they want to know too
How I’d like to be?

June 26, 2008

Good friend died today.
Inspired us to be better.
See? The good moves on.

June 25, 2008

Bought a new sports car.
Thought it’d make me a new man.
Proved I was poor one.

June 24, 2008

When the doorbell rings
On a dark and stormy night,
Pray Avon is late.

June 23, 2008

If you have standards,
Do not go to work for those
Bent on pleasing all.

June 22, 2008

Sign said home for sale.
Something seems so wrong with that.
Shouldn’t it say house?

June 21, 2008

Saddling someone's cat
Wastes your time and energy.
Cats won’t tell you that.

June 20, 2008

We are the masses.
Masses pick the President.
Also our noses.

June 19, 2008

Real bad night last night.
Did not see The Daily Show.
Instead, local news.

June 18, 2008

Deep, deep oh so deep.
So deep I flat out missed it
Here in shallow end.

June 17, 2008

What does it matter
In the long, long run of life
If you sprint a day?

June 16, 2008

There are engineers.
I do not know what they do
Except on a train.

June 15, 2008

Other folk's problems
I have rarely ever solved.
This includes some math.

June 14, 2008

List of things to do
Included making a list
Of things not to do.

June 13, 2008

Once milked a chicken
And asked a cow for an egg.
You don’t want to know.

June 12, 2008

Fell off the wagon.
Guess that has to be my fault.
Wagon did not move.

June 11, 2008

Can’t get through a day
Without making someone mad.
Somehow proud of that.

June 10, 2008

Played the lottery.
I got all the numbers called.
Tore up my ticket.

June 9, 2008

Cars passing me fast.
Don’t know where they are going.
Hope their drivers do.

June 8, 2008

Rocking chairs don't rock
Without someone to move them.
Someone, say, like you.

June 7, 2008

Ol’ Paul Revere’s ride
Now seems unnecessary.
Where was BlackBerry?

June 6, 2008

She always felt guilt.
The sun came up this morning.
Wasn’t there to help.

June 5, 2008

My camouflage cap
Blew off my head in the woods.
I could not find it.

June 4, 2008

Storm blew the fence down.
Looked into my neighbor’s yard.
Felt like a voyeur.

June 3, 2008

Called him Popsicle.
Preferred to live in the sticks.
Licked and disappeared.

June 2, 2008

Clock with second hand
Reflected in a mirror
Takes me back in time.

June 1, 2008

Where there’s will, there’s way.
Lose the will, there’s still a way
Waiting on the will.

May 31, 2008

Don’t know why it’s true.
Cold water from a wine glass
Is not bad at all.

May 30, 2008

Question of the day:
Does the human race know more
Than it doesn’t know?

May 29, 2008

Asked him what he did.
“Nothing,” he said. "And looking
For an assistant.”

May 28, 2008

Used bare hands to build.
An animal tore it down
Using its bear hands.

May 27, 2008

We could sulk and pout.
Or could settle it like men
And sue each other.

May 26, 2008

Wreck-less driving’s good.
But reckless driving’s not good.
Try to keep it straight.

May 25, 2008

Should I be worried?
What if I’m in heaven and
Blow chapter and verse?

May 24, 2008

Bury or cremate?
OK with either if she
Waits until I’m dead.

May 23, 2008

Lost last dime today.
Desperation setting in.
Need change for a five.

May 22, 2008

Good day getting dressed.
Found boxers dry in dryer,
Not in washer wet.

May 21, 2008

Careful when driving.
Don’t watch other cars so much
That you miss the bus.

May 20, 2008

Saw a baseball game.
Someone hit a long home run.
No, it wasn't me.

May 19, 2008

When we check the time,
Clocks and watches never ask
Why we need to know.

May 18, 2008

Ecclesiastes.
It's one book in the Bible.
One line in haiku.

May 17, 2008

Here’s a useless truth:
Some things that we do with hands
Can be done with feet.

May 16, 2008

Took a long, long trip.
Ended up south of nowhere.
Can’t even find that.

May 15, 2008

If Microsoft says
Sorry we cannot help you,
Call Bill Gates at home.

May 14, 2008

Bananas taste best
With brown freckles on their vests.
Old friend told me that.

May 13, 2008

Planted a garden.
Mary seemed to not quite care.
Found that contrary.

May 12, 2008

Bought a double-wide.
Pulled it through the fancy side
Just to scare the rich.

May 11, 2008

Won’t do that again.
Cheesy haiku series theme.
I am so ashamed.

May 10, 2008

Saturday ends it.
Lawn care, errands, many chores.
Some of which get done.

May 9, 2008

Friday’s here at last.
TGIF and relief.
One more week long gone.

May 8, 2008

Thursday means next day
Is the end of long work week.
Not known on its own.

May 7, 2008

Wednesday is hump day.
All a downhill slide from here.
Least that’s what I’m told.

May 6, 2008

Today is Tuesday.
Week’s ordinariest day.
Makes others stand out.

May 5, 2008

Monday’s here again.
Begins another work week.
Groaning gets us through.

May 4, 2008

Sunday morning’s changed.
Smell of frying chicken’s gone.
Now it’s steamed tofu.

May 3, 2008

If clocks advertised,
Doubtful they would stoop to say:
Got time on our hands.

May 2, 2008

I may not be grown.
Porky Pig is my hero
Guru’s named E. Fudd.

May 1, 2008

Just saw a stranger.
He said he did not know me.
Be strange if he did.

April 30, 2008

Cannot keep it straight.
Is West Virginia a state
Or a state of mines?

April 29, 2008

Stuck sticks together.
But they quickly came apart.
Glueless as to why.

April 28, 2008

Think you are so smooth?
You're truly smooth if you can
Peel an uncooked egg.

April 27, 2008

So, is there a hell?
Take your time in answering.
Guess yes if don't know.

April 26, 2008

Once was forced to say:
Wear your bra around your head,
I’ll notice your mind.

April 25, 2008

Does it mean a thing
That people in the Deep South
Love Yankee Candles?

April 24, 2008

Felt I should go
To my good friend’s funeral.
Doubt he’ll come to mine.

April 23, 2008

Million whys for no.
But was never good at math.
Took philosophy.

April 22, 2008

Know you’ve heard it said:
When life deals you a lemon,
Find a glass of tea.

April 21, 2008

Drive-thru coffee place.
To them, one's one of many.
To you, only cup.

April 20, 2008

Went away again.
I’m back and ready to write.
If I just knew what.

April 19, 2008

I can’t imagine.
At least I can’t write it down.
Have I made my point?

April 18, 2008

A two-for-one sale
Does not impress me at all
'Less they’re selling years.

April 17, 2008

Chuckleheads abound.
They are everywhere I turn.
Advised not to turn.

April 16, 2008

Will we ever know
Just what keeps us from missing
Everyone we meet?

April 15, 2008

Tax deadline today.
Not the Ides of April, but
Still a gouging day.

April 14, 2008

The most deceptive
Of all of life’s instructions
Has to be: Tear Here.

April 13, 2008

Church had tall steeple.
Church had a lot of people.
Church ended at noon.

April 12, 2008

Something’s wrong with this:
Tell him to take the last right
...before the river.

April 11, 2008

Tried a marathon.
Told I had to run, who knew?
Thought they’d let me drive.

April 10, 2008

Bend over backward.
Keep sacrificing for them
Till the muffled laughs.

April 9, 2008

If you had said yes,
Would I have asked you again?
Now you’ll never know.

April 8, 2008

Feeling commitment
Is not the same as “have to”.
Commit that to heart.

April 7, 2008

Stream of consciousness
That feeds into no river
Is a dry creek bed.

April 6, 2008

Heaven waits for those
Who are heading straight to hell
But make a wrong turn.

April 5, 2008

Lady Luck is blind.
She’s never even seen me.
Never felt my face.

April 4, 2008

In the frying pan
Where the fire is always on,
Jump or tiptoe quick.

April 3, 2008

Some say pigs can fly.
Others say not off the ground.
Which way did you look?

April 2, 2008

A square is a square.
A circle is not. Why do
We circle the block?

April 1, 2008

Loyalty’s two-way.
When one-way, one’s a user.
Other one’s a fool.

March 31, 2008

I’ll have chicken-fried.
Potatoes, gravy and pie.
And a Diet Coke.

March 30, 2008

They say road to hell
Is paved with good intentions.
So’s road to heaven.

March 29, 2008

This much I have learned.
When normal is not normal,
Call it typical.

March 28, 2008

The TV went dark.
Now the room's a lot brighter.
Some light shines best gone.

March 27, 2008

Depressed reporter:
Despondent correspondent.
Such a sad story.

March 26, 2008

Cleaned coffee maker
While we’re at war in Iraq.
Vinegar and oil.

March 25, 2008

Give men enough time
And they will disappoint you.
Mark her words, we will.

March 24, 2008

Older I become
Less tolerant I become
Of think-they-know young.

March 23, 2008

Missed sunrise service.
Truth is I have never been.
How’s it different?

March 22, 2008

Drove down to the beach.
Waved at a gorgeous body
And ocean waved back.

March 21, 2008

Long suit or strong suit?
Which describes a major strength?
Picking which not mine.

March 20, 2008

Called first day of spring.
Technically it's not true.
Been first days before.

March 19, 2008

Once a line is crossed,
It’s no longer a limit.
Stepped over and gone.

March 18, 2008

Once I did wonder
If folks in Antarctica
Eat hot penguin wings.

March 17, 2008

Am I wearing green?
If you pinch me in error,
Claim you’re colorblind.

March 16, 2008

Cows give us their milk.
And chickens give us their eggs.
That bothers the pigs.

March 15, 2008

Called the Ides of March.
The day Caesar turned to toast.
Better as salad.

March 14, 2008

Who is to decide
When two self-centered people
Know who it’s about?

March 13, 2008

Have you ever climbed
To the top of a ladder
But then forgot why?

March 12, 2008

Slip slide run and hide.
Get up, out and try again.
Slip slide run and hide.

March 11, 2008

Hopscotch hide and seek
And ring around Red Rover.
Multitasking kids.

March 10, 2008

All this talk of change.
Change direction, lives and world.
Think I’ll stick to sheets.

March 9, 2008

Lost hour last night.
Waste of time to look for it
For about eight months.

March 8, 2008

Simply can’t help it.
I rarely agree with George,
But love Laura’s hair.

March 7, 2008

Of all dual traits,
Arrogance and ignorance
Are the scariest.

March 6, 2008

Saw the Honda ad
With "hold on tight to your dream".
That’s the reason, Judge.

March 5, 2008

I crossed a river.
Then I crossed a mountain range.
Long game, tic-tac-toe.

March 4, 2008

When a bad idea
Is advanced in the forest,
Do the trees all groan?

March 3, 2008

It’s new and improved.
Not new and worse than ever.
No one would buy that.

March 2, 2008

A true optimist
Always sees the glass as full.
Of water and air.

March 1, 2008

Careful when you end
With any preposition.
Or proposition.

February 29, 2008

This is Leap Year Day.
Not sure how to celebrate.
Jump in the shower?

February 28, 2008

Our organs can talk.
Belch is how a stomach says
Thank you ever so.

February 27, 2008

Tiny bag of nuts
At forty-one thousand feet.
Dinner off the ground.

February 26, 2008

Always heard it said,
Pride cometh before the fall.
Did summer get fired?

February 25, 2008

Made breakfast in bed
For my wife’s birthday today.
Should have used the stove.

February 24, 2008

Oh how many times
Have I stared at the ceiling
Looking for the floor.

February 23, 2008

Turnip truck came by.
Turned out it had lost its load
Close to where I work.

February 22, 2008

Fan base is swelling.
Just blasted past two or three.
Oops. That's counting me.

February 21, 2008

There should be a law:
Every magazine page
Must have a number.

February 20, 2008

No news on TV.
Just paper dolls pretending.
Think I'll cut them out.

February 19, 2008

A glimpse of a thigh.
Tanned white breasts so appealing.
Make mine crispy please.

February 18, 2008

It’s Presidents Day.
None was born or died this date.
One for forty-three.

February 17, 2008

Sneaked to back pew late.
Heard part describing heaven.
Missed part about gate.

February 16, 2008

She grew up in Maine.
Given how far north that is,
She really grew down.

February 15, 2008

Pigs love to wallow.
Mud makes their teeth look whiter
In their dentists’ ads.

February 14, 2008

They say we should take
All things in moderation.
They never met you.

February 13, 2008

Guess I should worry.
Greeting cards I get all have
Expiration dates.

February 12, 2008

Abraham Lincoln
Was a lucky president.
Shot before TV.

February 11, 2008

Brain holds the data.
Mind does all the processing.
Heart makes final call.

February 10, 2008

If God does not live
Then whoever is in charge
May be dumb as me.

February 9, 2008

Can I for a while
Flee to a distant planet
But be back for lunch?

February 8, 2008

Why do we say we’re
Turning over a new leaf
When it’s one we’ve had?

February 7, 2008

When it comes to hair
I prefer blondes and brunettes
Over none at all.

February 6, 2008

Rabies will kill you.
But they'll call you bad dog first.
That can kill you, too.

February 5, 2008

I don't know tonight
Why I get all those e-mails
Bidding me good morn.

February 4, 2008

If the world is round,
How come there is not an arc
In my kitchen floor?

February 3, 2008

Reads Bible daily.
Wonder if he’s pure or just
Looking for loopholes.

February 2, 2008

Think I’ll read a book.
Front-to-back then back-to-front.
Time some kill should that.

February 1, 2008

When selling haiku,
Holding out for movie rights
Is just asinine.

January 31, 2008

Should have seen the sign.
Towel set from our wedding
Read “Hers” and “Hers Too”.

January 30, 2008

Sunset was gorgeous.
Prettiest sight I had seen.
Till you blocked my view.

January 29, 2008

Submitted the script.
Rejected for much discourse.
Just a play on words.

January 28, 2008

One street is messed up.
The other is clear and clean.
Don’t take the high road.

January 27, 2008

Grace is the blessing.
That should make us all wonder
Why we still keep score.

January 26, 2008

Never had a line
For which a girl ever fell.
Sure hope this one works.

January 25, 2008

I have many moods,
With one factor in common,
Access to my mouth.

January 24, 2008

I have an old dog.
His name is what I call him.
He's grateful for that.

January 23, 2008

Sunrise in the east.
Sunset follows in the west.
North and south just watch.

January 22, 2008

Shameless promotion:
Moms can share their mommyness
Out in Mommy Town.

January 21, 2008

Went to a reader.
She told me the tea leaves meant
All my tea was gone.

January 20, 2008

Think I'm religious.
Just don't wear it on my sleeve.
Should wear it somewhere.

January 19, 2008

Being short can help.
If chased by Security,
Run to Big and Tall.

January 18, 2008

Buy our alcohol.
Girls will adore you oh yeah
Drink responsibly.

January 17, 2008

Easy to be me.
I don’t work at who I am.
Just am who I be.

January 16, 2008

Had a pet goldfish.
Taught him how to roll over
And float on his back.

January 15, 2008

Not so good at art.
I upset the instructor
By drawing a blank.

January 14, 2008

Took a worthless trip
All the way around the world.
Ended right back here.

January 13, 2008

Cereal box tops.
Sent them in to be redeemed.
Got a toy instead.

January 12, 2008

Now is what we have.
Past is a participle.
Future’s never here.

January 11, 2008

Desperation rules.
Once when I had no money
I charged cigarettes.

January 10, 2008

Heard the loud music.
Listened to the loud callers.
Sold my radio.

January 9, 2008

A rolling coaster
Cannot take you for a ride.
But is fun to watch.

January 8, 2008

Rock solid. Rock hard.
Strong winds could never shake her.
Waste of breath to try.

January 7, 2008

Moving a mountain
Would be much harder by far
Than moving it back.

January 6, 2008

Don’t call here again.
You have reached a wrong number
Or end of your rope.

January 5, 2008

Horse was named a risk.
But eating sugar calms him.
Please give Chance a piece.

January 4, 2008

When they cut the tree
Does the tree feel the sawing?
Know for sure I would.

January 3, 2008

Thank you card was late.
I’m going to send it back.
Thank you very much.

January 2, 2008

Was an architect.
You can’t see what I designed.
All of it fell down.

January 1, 2008

May not have a grip.
Don't know how to live or die.
Only half concerned.